Mine's on schedule. And it has been for quite some time.
But if you want random.
"Damn" is a Latin word and it means condemnation. There is once a very intellectual lady pope who died a horrible horrible death after they found out she's a lady when her baby popped out of her uterus during a pope convention thing in public and they all thought the baby was an Antichrist. After that, they invented a chair where you can look up the pope's skirt to see if he's really a dude. Also, apparently it is physically impossible for Italians to grow beards.
And here's uplifting.
In the play Julius Caesar, Marc Antony starts a triumvirate with Octavius and Lepidus. Once in charge, Marc Antony starts murdering the Romans, including his own cousin, so his army gets more money from Julius Caesar's will so they can win against in-the-closet Brutus and faggy bi-polar Cassius. Marc Antony wants to kill Lepidus because he thinks Lepidus is dumb and as useful as a horse but Octavius says "LOLWAT. PAY ATTENTION TO THE BATTLE" and since Marc Antony secretly wants to bang Octavius, he didn't kill Lepidus.
In the end, Marc Antony wins against goody-goody-two-shoes Brutus (who kills himself when he found Cassius dead beside the dead body of Cassius's lover bestfriend, what'shisname, who killed himself when he found out Cassius killed himself because he thought what'shisname was killed by their enemies). Although it was Marc Antony's army that won the battle for them, Octavius becomes the leader of the homoerotic Roman(s?) and their swooshy white dresses after the battle because he's Julius Caesar adopted son or something.
So Shakespeare is telling us that it's okay to be an a-hole who backstabs people; in fact you'll succeed in life if you are one. But you can be the leader if you're more focused on what you want to do. And know someone who used to be a leader and are like "YO HOMIE *secret handshake here*" with him/her. That-one-dude's words ring true when he says, "Shakespeare is a homo."
GODDAMN YOU I'M TRYING TO STUDY FOR MY EXAM IT IS IN TWO WEEKS OR SOMETHING OH GOD WHAT REALLY HAPPENS IN JULIUS CAESAR
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